This workshop covered:

• The difference between open and closed communication
• How to get beyond your child’s one word responses
• The art of active listening
• How to broach tough topics
• How to read between the lines

And while there’s some excitement about having completed one more chapter of their lives and moving towards the next, I believe that for Chloe especially, the loss of what she’s leaving behind overshadows the excitement of what’s to come. Her apprehension about her segue into High School along with her sadness at leaving her familiar and safe school environment behind are reflected in her words: “Mom, after ten years at the same school, I feel like I’m leaving home and all my siblings behind.” Her words reminded me that transitions like the one from grade eight into High School can be challenging, difficult, frightening and sad.

For Chloe, there’s worry about her very closely knit group of friends becoming unravelled as they integrate into a much larger school environment with students from many other schools coming together. She knows it’s going to be different going from one new class to another, uncertain about which familiar faces she will see. In part she looks forward to increased independence but a bigger part of her wants to hold onto the familiarity of old friends and teachers who have become like extended family.

Along with thousands of other graduates, as Chloe prepares to make this bold leap into the world of High School, she is engaged in lots of closing rituals and preparations such as joining her friends for a tour of the new school and meeting new teachers to help bridge the gap. Graduation ceremonies and parties, signing year books, taking pictures of one another and taping a picture of the graduating class to her wall – all ways of saying goodbye and beginning to accept what is just around the corner.

The leap from grade eight into High School is perhaps one of the most dramatic. Perhaps because of the number of years that the children – now teenagers – have been in the same place and the relationships that they have developed as each child has undergone many changes. Graduating from senior kindergarten, while not as dramatic, may still be anxiety provoking for many. For some children, it means going from a half to a full day program, less play time and more structured work activities. Transitioning from High School to College or University requires great adjustment too. Then, it’s not just about one’s group of friends being diluted, but dealing with the loss of friendships as many journey to different cities and towns to pursue higher education. Suddenly, friends your children may have spent their entire growing up years with, are scattered. This again can certainly create feelings of loss, sadness and uncertainty.

So, if your child is a senior kindergartner, in grade eight, twelve or about to complete college or university, don’t be surprised to see changes in his or her behaviour or emotional tone around now. Normalize his or her mixed emotions and recognize that even during transitional celebrations, there are pangs of longing for what one has held so close and dear for so many years.

Sara Dimerman in conversation with Dr. Tiffany Chow. Over the course of this episode you will learn more about:

• The age at which adult children typically find their roles with their parents beginning to reverse
• Age related factors that influence this change in role
• Other special circumstances that might accelerate this role reversal (eg alzheimers, dementia, stroke)
• The difference between dementia and alzheimer’s disease
• The age at which older adults typically need more care
• Encouraging geriatric assessments and with whom?
• What to do when an aging parent is resistant to or in denial about needing extra help
• Why its best to avoid certain words such as “dementia” when talking to an aging parent
• Support services for aging parents and their adult children
• Whether our communities/provinces are well equipped to deal with mental and physical changes for our aging population
• The importance of getting extended family involved in caring for an aging parent/relative
• What to look for when exploring options for increased care

Invited lecture at Baycrest annual Medical Staff Association Dinner Meeting

Does Birth Order predict resilience to change?

This workshop covered:

• The difference between open and closed communication
• How to get beyond your child’s one word responses
• The art of active listening
• How to broach tough topics
• And more

Just wanted to thank you again for such a lovely evening, and so generously giving of your time and expertise! The school was buzzing this morning at drop off, and your name was one of the hot topics! Again, it was a pleasure and honour to be able to have you participate in the program.
- Tova